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You are here: Home Services Building Boundaries

Building Healthy Boundaries

Learning To Say NO!

Saying "No" can be difficult. Gain the understanding to develop healthy boundaries and the strength to enforce them.

LifeStar Counseling can help you:

  • Establishing healthy relationship perimeters and developing the strength to keep those perimeters
  • Handling peer pressure
  • Doing right when others encourage you to do wrong
  • Learning to say YES to your “yes” and NO to your “no”

We live in a world where assertiveness can turn into aggressiveness and boundaries can often seem very blurry. Manipulation, guilt trips, pressure and even subtle threats often are used by others to get us on board with their agenda. It isn’t easy to know when to say “Yes” and when to say “No”. Even if we know what we really want to say, do we have the strength and fortitude to say what we want to say in that moment? It is so easy to cave to the pressures being put on us from the outside and end up in a place doing something we really don’t want to do.

Resentment and anger can build up from constantly not being true to your own self. A negative cycle can begin that robs each day of happiness and joy. Being controlled by other people’s “choices” can leave you feeling trapped and closed in without the freedom to be true to yourself.

The truth is that we always have a choice. We just need to learn to own our own choices. There are tools and resources that can strengthen and encourage us to make our own choices that are true to what we really believe and want to do. One simple tool is to ask for time before making a decision. Often those who are seeking to get us on board with their agenda insist it is urgent and a decision needs to be made right now. However that is seldom the case. Simply asking for some time to think about the decision will help you clarify in your own heart and mind what your true choice will be.

Boundaries impact every area of our lives including time management, parenting, relationships, the workplace, and even church. And even if we have healthy boundaries, what do we do with the people in our lives that insist on rolling into our own life with their own bulldozer agenda? Learning how to navigate healthy boundaries and keeping our own boundaries safe from those that try to bulldoze their way into our lives is a lifelong process.

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Inspiration

"It's not what you do once in a while, it's what you do day in and day out that makes the difference."
Jenny Craig
"Courage is like a muscle. We strengthen it with use."
Ruth Gordon
"Don't let anyone rob you of your imagination, your creativity, or your curiosity. It's your place in the world; it's your life. Go on and do all you can with it, and make it the life you want to live."
Mae C. Jemison, first African-American woman astronaut
"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone."
Audrey Hepburn, actress and philanthopist
"Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning."
Gloria Steinem, American journalist and political activist
"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained."
Marie Curie, chemist and physicist
There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no insurmountable barrier except our own inherent weakness of purpose.
Elbert Hubbard
"Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong."
Ella Fitzgerald, African-American Jazz singer
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain...
-Vivian Greene
“It's never too late... never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.”
Jane Fonda

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