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Building Healthy Boundaries

Learning To Say NO!

Saying "No" can be difficult. Gain the understanding to develop healthy boundaries and the strength to enforce them.

LifeStar Counseling can help you:

  • Establishing healthy relationship perimeters and developing the strength to keep those perimeters
  • Handling peer pressure
  • Doing right when others encourage you to do wrong
  • Learning to say YES to your “yes” and NO to your “no”

We live in a world where assertiveness can turn into aggressiveness and boundaries can often seem very blurry. Manipulation, guilt trips, pressure and even subtle threats often are used by others to get us on board with their agenda. It isn’t easy to know when to say “Yes” and when to say “No”. Even if we know what we really want to say, do we have the strength and fortitude to say what we want to say in that moment? It is so easy to cave to the pressures being put on us from the outside and end up in a place doing something we really don’t want to do.

Resentment and anger can build up from constantly not being true to your own self. A negative cycle can begin that robs each day of happiness and joy. Being controlled by other people’s “choices” can leave you feeling trapped and closed in without the freedom to be true to yourself.

The truth is that we always have a choice. We just need to learn to own our own choices. There are tools and resources that can strengthen and encourage us to make our own choices that are true to what we really believe and want to do. One simple tool is to ask for time before making a decision. Often those who are seeking to get us on board with their agenda insist it is urgent and a decision needs to be made right now. However that is seldom the case. Simply asking for some time to think about the decision will help you clarify in your own heart and mind what your true choice will be.

Boundaries impact every area of our lives including time management, parenting, relationships, the workplace, and even church. And even if we have healthy boundaries, what do we do with the people in our lives that insist on rolling into our own life with their own bulldozer agenda? Learning how to navigate healthy boundaries and keeping our own boundaries safe from those that try to bulldoze their way into our lives is a lifelong process.

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“It's never too late... never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.”
Jane Fonda
"To me success means effectiveness in the world, that I am able to carry my ideas and values into the world--that I am able to change it in positive ways."
Maxine Hong Kingston, author of "Woman Warrior"
"Courage is like a muscle. We strengthen it with use."
Ruth Gordon
There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no insurmountable barrier except our own inherent weakness of purpose.
Elbert Hubbard
"You have to imagine it possible before you can see something. You can have the evidence right in front of you, but if you can't imagine something that has never existed before, it's impossible."
Rita Dove, first African-American poet laureate of the U.S.
"You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose."
Indira Gandhi, first female prime minister of India
"We never know how high we are Till we are called to rise; And then, if we are true to plan, Our statures touch the skies."
Betty Friedan, author of "The Feminine Mystique"
"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."
Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, author of "On Death and Dying"
"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained."
Marie Curie, chemist and physicist
"Hard work keeps the wrinkles out of the mind and spirit."
Helena Rubenstein, Polish cosmetics industrialist

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