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Building Healthy Boundaries

Learning To Say NO!

Saying "No" can be difficult. Gain the understanding to develop healthy boundaries and the strength to enforce them.

LifeStar Counseling can help you:

  • Establishing healthy relationship perimeters and developing the strength to keep those perimeters
  • Handling peer pressure
  • Doing right when others encourage you to do wrong
  • Learning to say YES to your “yes” and NO to your “no”

We live in a world where assertiveness can turn into aggressiveness and boundaries can often seem very blurry. Manipulation, guilt trips, pressure and even subtle threats often are used by others to get us on board with their agenda. It isn’t easy to know when to say “Yes” and when to say “No”. Even if we know what we really want to say, do we have the strength and fortitude to say what we want to say in that moment? It is so easy to cave to the pressures being put on us from the outside and end up in a place doing something we really don’t want to do.

Resentment and anger can build up from constantly not being true to your own self. A negative cycle can begin that robs each day of happiness and joy. Being controlled by other people’s “choices” can leave you feeling trapped and closed in without the freedom to be true to yourself.

The truth is that we always have a choice. We just need to learn to own our own choices. There are tools and resources that can strengthen and encourage us to make our own choices that are true to what we really believe and want to do. One simple tool is to ask for time before making a decision. Often those who are seeking to get us on board with their agenda insist it is urgent and a decision needs to be made right now. However that is seldom the case. Simply asking for some time to think about the decision will help you clarify in your own heart and mind what your true choice will be.

Boundaries impact every area of our lives including time management, parenting, relationships, the workplace, and even church. And even if we have healthy boundaries, what do we do with the people in our lives that insist on rolling into our own life with their own bulldozer agenda? Learning how to navigate healthy boundaries and keeping our own boundaries safe from those that try to bulldoze their way into our lives is a lifelong process.

woman with hand raised
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Inspiration

"Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong."
Ella Fitzgerald, African-American Jazz singer
"It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret."
Jackie Joyner-Kersee, first woman to win back-to-back gold medals in the Summer Olympics
"We never know how high we are Till we are called to rise; And then, if we are true to plan, Our statures touch the skies."
Betty Friedan, author of "The Feminine Mystique"
Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you greater than any obstacle.
Christian D. Larson
"It's not what you do once in a while, it's what you do day in and day out that makes the difference."
Jenny Craig
"Our deepest wishes are whispers of our authentic selves. We must learn to respect them. We must learn to listen."
Sarah Ban Breathnach
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Maya Angelou, African-American poet
"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any."
Alice Walker
"Hard work keeps the wrinkles out of the mind and spirit."
Helena Rubenstein, Polish cosmetics industrialist
"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security."
Gail Sheehy

Appointment Request

If you would like to request an appointment with Christi Lange of LifeStar Counseling, please submit our APPOINTMENT REQUEST form below.

APPOINTMENT REQUEST

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